The Lumpford Files

Wild Swimming in the Springtime

May 12, 2019

*a cautionary tale with yet more attempts at sketching*

Hello again my friends!  I do hope all is well with you.  Jim here and how pleased I am to be able to chin wag (!)   Wag wag!!

Springtime is a particularly splendid time of year isn’t it.  My nose really goes silly!  As you may appreciate, an animal like me will use his proboscis, well, I would say about 97.6% of the time.  I smell the approach of all.  When milady comes down the stairs.  When the pups arrive home after school.  Even when that scally of a border terrier dares to enter the road (it’s ok she’s a friendly!)

It also tells me when there are scrumdidiliumptious delicacies in the vicinity.  Now, you’re probably thinking a doggone beast like him will have his head into all sorts of disgusting substances.  Rummaging through dustbins, down rabbit holes, consuming all manner of vile.  And I could understand perfectly if you had that perception of me.  Some of my closest companions are indeed guilty consumers….and some of them are dogs too (fnarr fnarr.  Wag wag!)

But moi, oh contraire!  My head indeed lies within the world of vegetation.  As I take off into the world, I will bark loudly towards those woods, hills and fields before me, telling them “Listen ye here!  You can keep your rotten carcasses.  Show me the green!”

Ah fresh wheat

Sniff…..winter wheat.

Greens are good for you

Sniff sniff… Rapeseed shoots.  Sniffity sniff…..grasses galore and more (I shall not mention!)

Smells good

However, I do get so very warm you know and so my nose gravitates me to special cooling spots along the way.  She knows the signs so well, looking down at me with concerned eye.  My tongue lolls and my pants increase along with our speed, as she endeavors to provide me with relief from this heat.  The aroma of our destination heightens as she delivers on her promise to alleviate this discomfort.

There.  Arrived.  Brown Lagoon entices me in and I willingly oblige.  With a swish of my tail I’m in and swimming wildly.

Cooling down

The cool of the lagoon stupendous in it’s browness.  What is more, there are sticks and twigs in abundance.  Ooh er I shall rescue them all I will!

Emerging, I drop this small picking of a twig and head back in to save the rest of said wooden flotsam.  Yes, this one I think, a veritable bough if you will.  Jaws clenched with mouthful of branch I paddle back to land, but a hiccup does ensue.  A remnant of industrial past still remains in here, metal made and menacing.

Woodlands industrial past

As I swim past this metal block, my bough duly becomes wedged and stuck.  But I will not give up.  I swim.  I pull.  I swim.  I will not let go.  Fatigue runs through my old body.  I hurt and my whines alert her to my predicament.  She shares anxious glances between me and another who has presently arrived with their mutt.

Next thing I know she’s in with me (how exciting).  She wobbles.  She’s in more!  Like me, now only her head can be observed bobbing above the water level.

Good gracious she’s in!

With outstretched hand she grabs my collar and I let go of the bough that has broken me.  We climb out and I shake whilst she drips.

Together we swiftly exit the area, with her squeaking footsteps depositing watery imprints next to mine.  We proceed the 2 miles homeward bound and for once don’t dilly dally on the way! However, I do notice a quiet smile remains on her face for the duration.  “Well that was fun”, she says looking down at me with eyes alive.  “Too right” I nod.   Well, it looks like I’m going to have to show this one just what life’s about it would seem…’s to the next adventure!  Woof!

*a note to all.  It is inadvisable to go wading into woodland pools and she tells me she totally risk assessed this whole scenario…..prior to saving my life that is!*






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  1. HA HA, you should meet my English Springer Spaniel, Mazikeen, she would have been in the water with you dragging the bough out with you.

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